how do i do that ctrl+alt+del thing?...my name is not norman, but still i rock well
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Name: Jared
Country: Canada
Metro: Winnipeg
Birthday: 4/12/1984
Gender: Male


Interests: books, music, photography, thesbianism, foley art, golf, illustrating, hockey ( or at least staying at one end of the ice and looking pretty )
Expertise: all of the above...but mostly thesbianism.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media


Message: message me


Member Since: 6/1/2005

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Currently Listening
Satanic Panic in the Attic
By Of Montreal
see related
Ideal Jeopardy Categories as of 1am.

1. Sweaters Promoting Quebec
2. NHL '94 (with November 2007 Rosters)
3. Criticizing Criticisms of Criticisms (In the Victorian Era)
4. Obsessing about the glory of the digital slr in my hands yet still hating it for being digital
5. Broken Goalie Masks = Potential For Broken Faces (I'll just wear safety glasses underneath)
6. "l'art pour l'art" (Notice the Quotation Marks , all correct response are this)
7. French is Hard

Current Paper Titles

1. Art: ...is an expression of independent uselessness
2. Batter My Heart (and fry it in oil (with angels we have heard) on high, adding a bit of crushed (under the foot of God) garlic, until it is thoroughly Donne: The Grotesque Limitations of Language in Holy Communication or Otherwise.
3. How Baptist's Got Their Legs: Darwin's Theory of Evolution as it relates 'Post-Modern Emergent Re-Reformed Post-Reformation Non-Denominations'
4. Jacob's Ladder: Real Ladder or Blue Print to Rebuild the Tower of Babel? God's Ready to Talk.

The First two are real papers...the next two..will be...just horribly ridiculous


Thursday, August 10, 2006

ripping off will ferrel is so ultra post modern

As some of you may or may not know, recently I have become a victim of exsistential terrorism.  Before we delve too deeply into my conundrum context must be established.
Jon Koz sent out a chain letter via a myspace bulletin called 'cell phone trick' that would grant you a wish if you simply scrolled to the bottom of the page.  Your wish/fate would come true in the form of a cell phone call which the reader would recieve at a specific amount of time after reading the letter.  This amount of time was directly proportional to your age in the measure of minutes. (ie, I am 22, so I should wait 22 minutes to recieve my cell phone call).  So being bored at work I gave it a shot.  My wish was based the fortune I recieved the previous day from a Jones Soda bottle cap.  Underneath the lid it read "You will meet a very important friend who will soon help you to succeed".  I wished I would meet that friend.  I closed the bulletin at 11:57 and continued to work. At 12:19 my cell phone rang. By this time I'm a little worried.  Turns out it was a wrong number.  They were asking for a Ronald Pots (Paughts/Potz??) who had a doctors appointment that day.  Here comes the question........what does it all mean?  I've brought this subject up with a few people so far and have recieved very little help when it comes to a legitimate solution.  Most of them think it's a Tyler Durden situation and I am in fact Ronald Pots.  Well if that's true wouldn't that mean that I should infact need a doctors appointment too?  Plus, I recently read about schizophrenia and how to tell if you are infact a personality of many through a simple question.  To paraphrase :  A woman's husband died very suddenly.  At the funeral she met another man with whom she had a very full filling conversation that lasted hours afterwards.  A week later that same woman murdered her sister.  If you ask a normal person why the woman killed her sister they will say because obviously the man she met was her sisters husband and wanted him for herself.  If you ask a schizophrenic person they will most often say that the woman wants to create more funerals in her family with the hopes of meeting this man again.  Tyler Durden I am not.
Yesterday Sean Warkentin suggested that I hire an exsistential detective.  I have taken this in to deep consideration because I have always wanted to transcend time and space...well perhaps not space....what were we talking about? oh yes.  What matters most is that I have become a victim of exsistential terrorism.  I have litterally been hit by a hand grenade of isolation.  The idea of hiring an exsistential detective doesn't seem plausible at this point as I do not have the funds because I recently quit my job.  ( I hope this friend that will lead to my success brings the neccessary funds a long with them for my success because I do not have such things ).  Furthermore, because it is an exsistential dilema I must turn towards myself for the solution.  Yet I am reminded that exsistential pacifism isn't really all it's cracked up to be, especially if you know not your attacker.  So thus I will fight this terrorism with an ultra postmodern technique that I ripped off from the yet to be released Will Ferrell movie "Stranger Than Fiction".
In this movie Ferrell finds himself the subject of a writers narrative, and he can in fact hear the writer narrarating.  He attempts to fight the plot line (although one could argue that since he is a construct of another narrative besides his own this fight is predicted and futile (and since the movie has not been released and I have no clue what it's about, it is entirely possible that this precisely what the movie is about)).  Either way, the Ferrell character attempts to contact the author.  This is what I will try.  I will attmept to make Ronald Pots contact me to determine his part in this exsistential terror campaign.  But yet I need to keep it ultra postmodern, so I will not actually write a narrative, but rather a personal memoir about the narrative that I am writting about Ronald Pots, because if I become too involved in the narrative I too will bring myself into the storyline bringing me and Ronald Pots to the same exsistential level, which is exactly where we are right now.  Keep in mind the aspects of this theory are still in the developmental stages.  The story will be approximately 20 pages long with a 165 page foreward writen by Blade.  Blade's forward will be well researched, dry, witty, involving elements of Thoreau and Camus.  The foreward will also be sold seperately in a special hardcover hand bound edition at McNally Robinsons everywhere (or just Grant and Portage Place ).  My memoirs will probably contain nothing insightful, literary brilliance will only be accomplished in the foreward and not in the actual meat of the text itself. Although it may or may not contain lazers. Comments please, help me develope this.


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Currently Reading
Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story
By Chuck Klosterman
see related

facts : a continuation from steve's batch....

In light of Hasek's new contract with the Red Wings at 41 years of age...here are some stats.
The arguement, thanks to Luke shooting his mouth off about a subject he knows nothing about ( the defensive zone ) since he never comes back past centre, was that Broduer happens to be a much better goaltender than Hasek.

Broduer:
Vezinas (Top Goaltender) = 2
Harts (MVP) = 0
William Jennings (Lowest GAA) = 4 (all of which had to be split between several leaders)
Lester B's = 0
Stanley Cups = 3
Total GAA Average = 2.2
Seasons in NHL = 13
Age : 34

Hasek:
Vezinas = 6
Harts = 2
William Jennings = 2
Lester B's = 2
Stanley Cup = 1
Total GAA Average 2.22
Seasons in NHL = 14
Age : 41


The only award that Broduer has that Hasek does not is the Calder, but then again, the communists didn't let Hasek play till he was nearly 50 years old, so it's tough to win a rookie award.
But the fact remains that Hasek has won every trophy available as a goaltender and has done it in less time than Broduer but is also 7 years older, clearly a disadvantage as reflexes and flexibility seriously degrade at that age.
Any arguments, bring them on, the numbers are for darn sure.  Broduer doesn't even have the heart to win a Hart (and he's got three stanleys).

Keep in mind Hasek also made every last save from his ass too (and usually without a stick)


Friday, March 31, 2006

Currently Listening
He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corners of Our Rooms
By A Silver Mt. Zion
see related

interpretations

(before we start, steve or joanna if you read this then congrats and God's richest blessings on you both, hope to see you soon)


THE DEBATE:

Hey all, prepare for a long one.  To keep you up to speed, my friends Dominick Gagne, Andrew W. Krahn and I have had a little debate going when it comes to Andy Serrano's "Piss Christ".   If you are unfamiliar with it then google that shit up, unless Joel Remple has changed the world via the internet so much that he has deleted Serrano from our world database, but it any case, look at it.  Here have been our written comments about it, I would love to see way more input on it, so read on and think:


DOMINICK:
I wasn't sure whether or not anyone would recognise the crucifix in my pictures, but apparently some do. This picture is offensive, and that is what Andres Serrano, the artist, intended. If you check out his other work, which I don't necessarily recommend, I guess you could say it's not really ..."uplifting." I had heard about it as a teenager, from church people. They were horrified that anyone could possibly dip a crucifix of our Lord into a vat of urine and call it art, and then, there are people willing to display it and pay money to look at it! What is our world coming to, we thought.

I was struck by the violence of disrespect that has been paid to this symbol of my faith, and at the same time, I remembered The Passion of the Christ, in which Mel Gibson wanted to portray his own hands putting the nails into Jesus' hands.

Am I any better than Andres Serrano? Are we not responsible for the violence on the cross as much as any other? Sure, Piss Christ is offensive and vile, but which of my own selfish actions aren't? Pretending that I am better than the man making this statement, or to push another man into a sort of "evil" or "them" category because he is doing what I do every day, but in a fashion that makes people react, I think is arrogance. Jesus' criticism was often against the people who thought that another's sin was worse than their own. We think we know better than the "evil" Pharisees, but I'm not really sure we do.

I look at Piss Christ and I am reminded.

ANDREW KRAHN:
I think Serrano would be pissed off that you took his piece of art and interpreted it in a fashion that bolstered your faith.  I'm pretty sure there's irony in there somewhere.

Oh, and despite the truth that Serrano's Piss Christ may reveal, I can't handle looking at it.  I think there is a difference between Serrano's art and your interpretation of it.  It seems to me that Serrano did what he did out of hate.  Your interpretation stems from a desire to love Christ and to better understand your own sin.  I don't think I can respect Serrano's art, but I can respect your interpretation.  I have the feeling, though, that people will fail to see the difference, and maybe there is none.

<>DOMINICK:
I think that Serrano would think I'm an idiot ...and maybe others do as well. Sometimes, too, I don't want to look at the picture either, but other times I love it. Either way, though, it isn't really good art. Is it?

JARED:
If I may so kindly add my two cents. 1cent : Dom I think your interpretation is amazing, very Augustine-esque.  Although, Andrew, I'm not sure Serrano would be offended in this interpretation and if he is so, he has no right to be, just as we have no right to be offended by the depiction. Once an artist creates and presents it no longer becomes a part of the artist, regardless of it's purpose it becomes subject to relative interpretation. And the only offensive power that this peice has is the power that we chose to give it by claiming it "offensive".  To generalize for a second, artists have one of  two main purposes in mind, self therapy/release and social therapy/release.  This to me seems to be of the second account, and if his purpose was as simple as "i'm gonna soak a crucifix in piss and cows blood, just cause i hate those muthaeffin christians so much", that purpose does not transcend into the public eye and can not be a tool of facism.  2cent : I don't think it qualifies as bad art either.   Serrano's method to me seems to be one matching Antonin Artaud's "Theatre of Cruelty".  It's main goal is to defy spectacle so as to show itself as a power used to futher the audience to an absolute, for social change or social therapy.  It uses images that are ugly and painful to stimulate the audience into releasing it's subconcious to step towards ultimate truth.  Good art only asks questions, it does not answer them.  In this sense, Dom, you have accomplished all that Artaud intended and perhaps Serrano too, to look towards the self for social change.  Unless perhaps Serrano's purpose was to disgust Christians just as they disgust him, this to me seems like a lazy interpretation and only to further the separation between our love for Christ and our love for the world.  Unfortunately we can not tell, but we do have discussions and steps towards absolutes, although we will never accomplish them.  So then is it useless to try?  No, I believe it is God-honouring to continuely attempt perfection and continuely seek ultimate truth.  If only society would teach art value and intelligent intepretation,......imagine.


thats all we got, thanks for reading. maybe more will come later.


Saturday, March 11, 2006

Currently Listening
Cripple Crow
By Devendra Banhart, Devendra Banhart
see related

Punch Lines

PUNCH LINE OF THE WEEK!

in case you havn't heard the story yet, and you read this, then please read sarah's retelling of the story http://www.xanga.com/just_sara_jane
hillflippinlarious.



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